Time to Go
by Simbelmyne Nienor
Summary: "If it's time to go, remember what you're leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me." The Eleventh Doctor, The Wedding of River Song Sometimes, it isn't time to go, and Tasneem has to be reminded that her friends are there. The Doctor can help with that.


**I'm so sorry for not writing in so long. I know I said the end of September, but hopefully this story will explain what went on in my life. Yes, it's a self insert and semi-autobiographical. It is a combination of the things that have gone on recently. I got the idea from the other Doctor Who story ****_It Gets Better _****by Cyndi. I hope that you'll find it alright and not too incredibly boring.**

**oOo**

When Tasneem woke up on Tuesday morning, nothing seemed wrong. She got out of bed at a decent time, being only fifteen minutes after her alarm first rang at 6.15 in the morning. She dressed quickly in her high school uniform, even taking the time to re-lace her black combat boots and to try a new knotted turban style of hijab with a fancy purple scarf. Confidently, she ran down the stairs and threw together a decent lunch consisting of last night's couscous and chicken tagine, before buttering a quick piece of sourdough toast for her breakfast and stuffing that into her mouth as she sprinted out of the door to her dad's waiting car in the garage. However, being the scatter-brained idiot that she sometimes was, Tasneem realized that she had forgotten to brush her teeth and grab her printed out copy of her essay on metaphorical and literal blindness in _Oedipus the King. _All in all, she managed to get to school without being late and she was at school on time for her choir rehearsal for the liturgy that day.

Even though she was Muslim and incredibly proud of that, Tasneem still liked singing in the school's choir. After all, only a few of the songs that they sang were actually about Jesus and Tasneem would sing those anyway, as she didn't actually mean what she said about Jesus being the son of God. Arriving at the school's gym and then walking very quickly – as fast as a thirty pound backpack full of unnecessary textbooks could allow her to walk – Tasneem went through the doors leading to the back of the gym to meet the rest of the choir.

"Tasneem! You're here!" one of the other girls said.

Looking around the crowd of her fellow choir-mates, Tasneem finally noted who had called out to her. It was Sarah, one of her friends from theatre rehearsals. The two played a mother and daughter in law duo in the chorus of Corinthian women in that year's fall production of _Medea _by Euripides.

"Of course," Tasneem said, throwing down her backpack and then subsequently wincing when she heard her laptop inside make a sickening thud as it hit the ground. "How could I miss my first performance of the year after only two rehearsals?"

Sarah laughed and placed her hand reassuringly on Tasneem's shoulder. "Don't worry," she said, looking Tasneem in the eye, "you are a beautiful person and you'll do fine today."

Tasneem tried to nod but could no longer meet Sarah's eyes as she felt something inside her turn to ice. However, she tried to ignore it and, using her acting skills, put a small smile on her face and busied herself with preparing her sheet music in her black chorus binder.

After they had warmed up while sounding like they were on a roller coaster and after they had sung a couple of the songs from the liturgy, the group of twenty or so choir members made their way onto the stage in the gym to prepare their seats for the liturgy and they waited to start. While on the stage, Tasneem scanned the crowds of girls filing into the gym to take their seats, looking for some of the other people she knew, such as Lucy and Williams (which was a last name), who had also been in the fall play. Lucy was a damn good Jason.

Feedback from the microphone sounded about the gym, causing almost everyone to cover their ears, except for Tasneem, who was still scanning the crowd, desperately looking for someone, anyone. She didn't know while she was doing that, but it helped pass the time while the campus ministry leaders droned on and on about various boring things such as donations for the school and connecting Jesus to a Catholic school girl's normal and average day. Not that there was anything wrong with Jesus, for Muslims love Jesus, too, but Tasneem already had an hour and a half of gospel stories to listen to in religion class later that day after lunch.

A couple of notes sounded from the piano off to the left side of the stage and Tasneem quickly stood with the rest of the alto section of the chorus as they began the songs for the liturgy after a half an hour lecture to open the service. As she began singing, Tasneem began to tear up and her thoughts took a dark turn for almost no reason. At least, no reason that she could remember.

The rest of the liturgy passed by in the blink of an eye and before she knew it, Tasneem was filing off of the stage and out through the doors of the gym and off to her classes. While walking through the hallway to her Algebra 2 classroom, Tasneem passed by a number of fellow students who kept asking stupid questions like why she wasn't smiling or why she looked so sad. Tasneem just shrugged off their idiotic statements with a curt nod and she shoved her way through the rest of the students who were in her way.

Once inside her math classroom, Tasneem took out her binder and textbook, placing them on her desk with a noticeable _clunk, _scaring her tablemates noticeably.

"I'm fine," she said, not even waiting for them to say something or ask her what was wrong, because nothing was wrong, at least in her head.

Then, Tasneem walked over to the other side of the classroom and cleared her throat to gain the attention of her math teacher, Ms. Fitzgerald, who looked up from her tests that she was grading.

"Yes, Tasneem?" Ms. Fitzgerald said, drumming her pen between her fingers.

"May I please use the restroom before the class starts?" Tasneem said, knowing that Ms. Fitzgerald, who was an utter saint, would probably say yes.

At her teacher's nod, Tasneem raced out of the room, heading towards the bathrooms at the other end of the hall. To her dismay, all of the stalls were occupied, so she quickly ran back out of the bathroom and to the other end of the hall, back near her math classroom, as she felt some tears burn the back of her eyes. She needed to be alone, which was quite hard to do at a school full of teenage girls in every single classroom. Tasneem arrived back at the doorway of her math classroom, but decided that she didn't want to go back inside and face all of those people. She couldn't, as a sob found its way out of her throat and she could feel the tears running freely down her face, dripping off of her nose and splashing onto the front of her navy blue sweater.

So, Tasneem ducked into the first empty and secluded place she could think of; the back stairwell and she curled up just inside of the door, drawing her knees up to her chest and covering her head with her arms as she tried to make herself as small as possible. Now, that she was alone, the tears flowed freely and she could no longer muffle her sobs as she cried openly, heart wrenching sounds, if someone else was there. Of course, Tasneem was alone. That was what she wanted, right? But in the stairwell, she felt even more alone. Her wish of seclusion was making her feel worse.

That little voice in the back of her head appeared once more, telling her horrible things. Terrible things.

"I'm worthless," Tasneem said quietly, as if someone could hear her, but the stairwell was still empty. "I'm useless. I have no purpose in life. I'm selfish and just a spoiled brat who asks for too much. Nobody needs me. I'm just a person that uses up my family's resources and wastes their money."

She paused for a moment to wipe her nose on her sleeve and to regain her breath from crying. Tasneem began picking at the scabs on her arms from all of the times that she had cut herself with cheap and disposable plastic razors. Her house had recently run out of band-aids and she couldn't very well tell her family what she had been doing to need those band-aids, or else they would probably call the police. Tasneem began crying again as she realized what she had been doing.

"What am I doing?" she said, as she had a habit of talking out loud when she was alone and crying. It helped her to imagine that someone else was telling her these things, these horrible things. That way, she would end up thinking that she deserved to feel that way; that she deserved to be hurt. It was better if she heard it from someone beside herself. She already had heard things like that from her old friend, Nadezhda, for almost three years, until Tasneem had ended their friendship a fortnight ago. They were supposed to be lifelong friends and roommates in college, but that was no more

"I've lost all of my friends," Tasneem said, "I have no one left."

For the last few times that Tasneem had cried and needed some space and time alone from everyone else, she had hid under the stage, in the theatre's bathroom, and in one of the voms. There, she could be alone, but someone always came to find her. This time, no one even knew she was gone. No one would come after her and hold her in their arms, reminding her that she wasn't a bad person. Despite this twisted logic that she knew was completely illogical, Tasneem waited almost an hour, crying herself silly until she had almost run out of tears.

With a wince, she looked down at her arm, with the rolled up sleeves of her sweater and shirt out of the way of her scabs and scars. Amidst her thinking and crying, Tasneem had caused her scabs to reopen and blood was dripping down her forearm and it quickly clotted, much to her relief. It wouldn't stain her shirtsleeves when she righted her clothes when she was done with her crying.

But what would happen when she walked out of the room and back to her math class? She would go back to her normal and everyday life, being Average Tasneem once more. She would have no friends to eat lunch with, for Nadezhda was her closest friend and now that was ended. It seemed that even Allah had abandoned her, for she felt so utterly alone and afraid at that moment. She was nothing more than a self-harming, messed up bitch. Even by hoping that someone would see her and make her feel better was asking for too much. Tasneem was really all too selfish. She deserved to die. The entire world would be a lot better off without her. There would be one less needy person in the world. Lucy would no longer have to hold tissues out to Tasneem as she cried in the bathroom. Sarah would no longer have to make sure that Tasneem was safe for the day and not in a self harming mood. The world would be better off without her. Yes, Tasneem had made up her mind. She would die.

Fresh tears burning at her eyes, Tasneem unwrapped the purple and gold hijab from around her neck and head, placing the decorative pins lovingly by her side of her seat on the stairs. She twisted the scarf into a morbid rope of sorts and tied it into a noose. Then, she stood up like a woman condemned and walked over to the railing of the stairs, tying the other end of the scarf to the railing, preparing to place it around her neck.

She thought of what Lucy would say and how her family would react. They probably wouldn't care at all. They would probably throw a party in celebration at Tasneem's death. Not even Allah was there. He wouldn't abandon someone in a time like this, but Tasneem must have been an exception. No. Even Amanda was gone. Tasneem's once chance at dating, only for Amanda to graduate, which couldn't be helped. And Tasneem didn't even have any of Amanda's contact information. Tasneem was totally and completely alone.

She climbed to the other side of the railing and placed the makeshift noose around her neck, getting ready to jump and either strangle to death or break her neck, when a strangely familiar sound reverberated around the no-longer-empty stairwell.

A strange blue police box appeared on the landing of the stairs and a man in a bow tie and coat came out.

"Don't jump," he said, tentatively stepping forward with his hand extended. "Please don't."

"Why?" Tasneem said, her voice quiet in the presence of another person, especially one who had appeared so suddenly. "Why shouldn't I jump? What is there to live for? I'm just a leech, living off of other people's pity."

The man with the bowtie jumped down a couple of the steps and met up with Tasneem, who was trying her hardest to look down at her feet and where her broken neck and lifeless body would be in a few minutes, instead of the strange person who thought himself her savior. On the inside, she laughed coldly. A few minutes before, she would have gladly accepted any offer of help, for she just wanted to know that someone was there, but now that someone had come, she realized that she didn't want that help. It was too late. She was going to die. She had already made up her mind and nothing, no one, could change that.

Running down the rest of the staircase to meet Tasneem's face on the other side of the stairs, the man looked at her in the eyes as he said in a firm and clear-cut tone, "If it's time to go, remember what you're leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me."

Tasneem stopped her crying, her eyes drying and beginning to itch painfully as the minutes wore on, when she thought about what the man with the bowtie had just said. First, he said that she shouldn't die, but then he said that if it was the right time, she could.

The man, sensing that she needed space, moved back a little, but not too much, so that he was still facing her, but on the other side of the staircase.

So, with one firm footstep off of her perch on the banister, Tasneem jumped and waited to feel the noose tighten around her neck and to feel death take over her mind, body, and soul with a quick onslaught of blackness. Would Hell hurt? Would death hurt too much? Tasneem just wanted to end it. She already felt emotional pain on a daily basis; the feeling of claws ripping their way from her inside out as she realized that she was completely alone. She didn't want any more physical pain. She was dying.

However, before she could feel the noose tighten around her neck when she dropped off of the stairs' railing, the strange man opposite of her took some sort of thin flashlight thing that buzzed and glowed green when he pressed a button and the scarf that would have killed her broke off. Tasneem braced herself for the fall onto the stairs, but the strange man caught her. Strangely, her only thought was, _This is haram. I'm being touched by a man who isn't related to me._

Nevertheless, Tasneem let herself be carried back up to the landing of the stairs where she had been crying and where the strange man had materialized in his blue police box. He opened the doors to the police box and stepped inside.

Normally, this was when someone would comment about the blue box being either bigger on the inside or smaller on the outside, but Tasneem was in too much shock over nearly dying to say anything. She still looked around her at her surroundings, just in case she was being taken away somewhere by a stalker or kidnapper or rapist, and she tried to find another way out besides the door from which she had just entered.

"Now," the man said after he set her down on a chair that seemed to be part of the navigating console, "I am the Doctor. Just the Doctor. No other titles for me. And, as you are probably wondering, I am not a kidnapper or a rapist or a stalker. My TARDIS, that is, my spaceship in which you are now, picked up your distress signal."

"My what?" Tasneem's voice was hoarse from all of her crying.

"Your cry for help," the Doctor said, walking over to a raggedy cardboard box that seemed to be full of keys of all sorts of shapes and sizes. "It's strange. I haven't been in present day America for some time. Especially not the West Coast. Lovely place. Full of earthquakes and droughts. Oh, and San Francisco! I love San Francisco. Lots of cable cars. Those are fun to ride. And Ghirardelli Square! They give out free samples when you walk through their doors. Unless you look like you're under thirteen. Then you have to have a parent with you. Strange, though. That shouldn't have been a problem for me. I just really wanted a free sample."

Despite his ramblings which would usually make anyone laugh, even in her emotional state, Tasneem just looked around her surroundings distractedly, not really paying attention to a single word that the Doctor had just said.

"Aha!" the Doctor said, as he held up a key that looked as if it had been painted with bright pink nail polish in order to distinguish it from the rest. "The key to the TARDIS wardrobe."

Tasneem was confused as she looked around the circular and very large room that they were in. Off to the side, down one of the hallways, Tasneem could see that the place really was bigger on the inside and that the hallway seemed to go on endlessly.

"It has a wardrobe?" she said, still trying to take in everything that had just happened.

"Of course," the Doctor said, looking affronted, as he motioned for Tasneem to follow him out of the room that they were in and into one of the hallways.

Together, the two walked this way and that, making the occasional turn through another corridor and getting lost. At least, Tasneem was entirely lost. The Doctor seemed to know exactly where he was going, as he let out another "Aha!" as they arrived at a door that was painted a bright pink to match the color of the key.

Unlocking the door, the Doctor gestured to the wide array of clothes that lay inside. Tasneem walked inside eagerly, wanting to take in the wild colors and fabrics that were inside.

"The scarves are on the right," the Doctor said. "I have a box of underscarves on the bottom left shelf over there and the scarves are hanging up above the box. You are welcome to pick a replacement hijab."

Tasneem stopped suddenly. She had completely forgotten about her lack of headscarf and her lapse in modesty. Honestly, she had a man, and a complete stranger at that, see her in only her underscarf.

But she felt infinitely better when she saw the Doctor was off on the other side of the wardrobe examining other various knick knacks while she dressed and made herself proper.

When Tasneem had finished tying and pinning on a grey and blue floral scarf that just happened to match the colors of her school uniform, she cleared her throat, alerting the Doctor that she was done.

"Alright," he said, clapping his hands, "let's go back to the console room. There's something there that I want you to see."

Tasneem hesitantly followed him back through the winding corridors until they reached the room that they had first arrived in.

"Doctor," Tasneem said, "what did you want to show me?"

The Doctor just beamed at her and pressed a few large and red buttons on the console. A phone-like extension appeared and at the Doctor's insistence, Tasneem picked up the phone.

"Call one person, anyone," the Doctor said, a reassuring look on his face. "Someone is there for you, Tasneem. Someone is always there for you."

Tasneem nodded and dialed in a familiar number. The phone rang for a little until the person on the other end of the line picked up.

"Lucy?" Tasneem said, her voice once more becoming choked with tears. "Are you there?"

On the other end of the line, Lucy's voice was also growing harder to understand as she teared up. At least, that was what Tasneem could discern from the other girl's sniffling over the phone.

"Yes, Tasneem, I'm here," Lucy said, her voice very obviously relieved at knowing that Tasneem was alright. "The entire school, practically, has been worried for you. Nobody knew where you were. Ms. Herr even sent an announcement over the intercom for you, calling you to the front office, but you never came. Where have you been? What have you been doing?"

Tasneem's voice grew even softer and more tearful as she replied, saying, "Lucy, I tried to kill myself. I almost hung myself in the back stairwell, but I didn't. Please, you have to help me."

Lucy was silent for a little while as she probably thought about what she should do. Tasneem could hear her shout for someone else's phone.

"Listen, Tasneem," Lucy said, "I'm going to call the suicide hotline using William's phone. They'll probably tell me to call 911 and I want to know if that's okay with you, if I can call 911 afterwards. They only want to help and I only want to help. Just know that you are a beautiful person and you are so smart. Your smile, when I see it, makes my day ten times better. It lights up the entire room. I love you, Tasneem, and I only want what's best for you."

Tasneem began nodding her head, before she remembered that only the Doctor could see her and that Lucy was somewhere in class at school, while she, Tasneem, was inside a real spaceship.

"Please, Lucy. Can you call them? I love you, too," Tasneem said.

"Alright," Lucy said, and Tasneem could faintly hear another phone being dialed in the background. "I'm calling the suicide line on William's phone. If you still want to talk, we can, but I'm just going to be a minute."

"No," Tasneem said, "You can hang up. I'll be alright. I promise. Just call 911 if you need to. And Lucy, thank you."

"Love you."

"Love you, too," Tasneem said as she hung up the TARDIS' phone and looked at the Doctor expectantly.

The Doctor clapped his hands in anticipation and said, "So, Tasneem, would you like to travel somewhere? You need a change of surroundings."

_Well, _Tasneem thought, _that was certainly a random thing to say._

"What do you mean when you said 'anywhere'?" she said.

The Doctor merely grinned, preparing the monitor and the console for an adventure: his fingers were hovering over a number of big and shiny buttons.

"Anywhere. Throughout history, throughout space. Anywhere," he said, his grin growing bigger as he saw Tasneem's eyes widen.

Tasneem thought for a few moments, before saying suddenly, "Can I go multiple places?" She immediately closed her mouth and looked sheepish, ashamed that she had demanded so much

The Doctor nodded, but then said, "No more than five. We don't want you too tired for your return to school."

"Alright," Tasneem said, realizing that this was a once in a lifetime chance. "I want to see Anglo Saxon England before the Normans came, one of Shakespeare's performances of the Scottish Play, one of Euripides' performances of Medea, sometime during the life of the Prophet Muhammad PBUH, and finally, tea with Jane Austen after she published one of her novels."

"Perfect," the Doctor said, actually pressing those buttons on the console that he had been waiting to press. As the same weird sound, like a wheezing, resounded throughout the space ship, the Doctor shouted, "Geronimo!"

At that, Tasneem smiled genuinely for the first time that day. Everything would be alright.

**oOo**

The TARDIS rematerialized onto the back stairwell at Tasneem's school and she stepped out with an armful of souvenirs, which were all crisp pieces of paper or books of some sort wrapped up in small booklets. Tasneem had managed to acquire a copy of _Medea_ written on a scroll, the Scottish Play with William Shakespeare's annotations and corrections, some of the Quran as was revealed to the Prophet Muhammad PBUH, an original manuscript of _Beowulf,_ and some of the early chapters of _Northanger Abbey._

Actually, these purchases would have set the Doctor and Tasneem back quite a lot and would have been in horrible debt as they had to bribe several scribers and monks into writing down extra manuscripts just for Tasneem. However, the Doctor had unlimited credit and that problem was quickly solved.

Tasneem walked out of the TARDIS and back onto the landing of the stairwell, before turning back towards the Doctor with a grateful look on her face.

"How can I ever thank you?" she said.

The Doctor just shrugged. "Did you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I've never met anyone who wasn't important before? So go out there, Tasneem. I know that you have friends that love you. Lucy is there waiting and she sent you a text a few hours ago saying that she called 911 and they're on their way."

Tasneem nearly dropped her manuscripts in shock. "A few hours ago?" she said.

Tapping the TARDIS, the Doctor said, "Time machine. According to the school's clocks, you left around two minutes ago."

Following the Doctor's stare straight ahead of him, Tasneem could see the singed and cut remains of her purple and gold hijab lying sadly on the stairs, reminding her of why the Doctor was there in the first place.

"Don't worry," the Doctor said. "I'll clean it up. Go back to class and put those manuscripts away where no one can see them. I'm afraid that normal pink and yellow humans wouldn't understand time travel so easily."

"I will, Doctor," Tasneem said, shifting her manuscripts into one arm as she opened the door that connected the back stairwell to the rest of the second floor hallway.

She was almost through the door and back into her normal life as Average Tasneem when she turned around to face the Doctor once more.

"Thank you," she said, and then she walked out of the stairwell and to her locker, where she lovingly put her souvenirs in amongst her textbooks, notebooks, and binders.

Adjusting her clothing and hoping that no one would question her change in scarf colors – she would say that she had to use it as a tissue while crying and found a spare one in her locker – Tasneem walked back into her math classroom, only to see the class packing up their backpacks and getting ready for the bell to ring. She had missed her test, but that was of little consequence, as she was safe and she was going to be okay.

**oOo**

Not half an hour later, the police with the paramedics arrived at school and Tasneem was taken to Emergency Psychiatric Services overnight to be evaluated and then be placed under a 72-hour hold. However, she knew that she was alright and that Lucy had gone through with calling the police. She was going to be okay. She was loved and she was going to be okay.


End file.
